Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"Tim Tebow say wha--!?!"

That's right; no one cares.

So on Sunday, when Captain America has the last
few fleeting moments of his 15 seconds of Lame,
and his little Super Bowl propaganda pieces are
giving you a chance to run to the throne room,
feel free to stop back by here and check out the
only thing Tim Tebow has to offer.

Now wipe that smudged shit off your face,
shut your pretty, vapid, home-schooled face,
wrap your hands around the ball
and move on!
You might prefer the QB position,
but we know you have tight-end experience.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Jamie Noble; Wrestling perfection!

Now, I love a good jobber.
It takes a very particular skill to be convincing about being
badly beaten on a regular basis.
And there's something glorious about the torturous agony that
Jamie Noble emotes in his ring persona.

There is something extremely intoxicating about how well
he takes his abuse; a poetry, in fact. The dramatic reactions,
the dopey stupors.

Breaking it down, part of the appeal is that Noble simply
looks amazing in a pair of tights; his physique is delicious.

There's also something very naughty...a bit 'dirty' about his
whole presence. A bad boy, an ignoble savage, a red neck.
The kind of person we secretly adore or wish to see get the
shit beat out of them. Here, we get the best of both worlds.

Again, there is a bestial energy to the man; a primal rough
and unhewn soul. He seems to have that desperate energy
of the young rebel we've all known--or been--at some point.

That fierce determination.
"The little rough neck that could."

"Squeal like a pig!"

No one looks better laid out and prone!

And can get back up and assert arrogance and ignorance!

Maybe I just like seeing A-types getting whacked?

I notice there are a LOT of money shots in Mr. Noble's matches.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Mmnn. As I was saying. Goddess, I love spandex.

Sweet...just sweet.

I could simply watch him lie there and do nothing.

You really almost believe that he's got a chance with all that
vim, vigor, and bravado, right? I love brashness!

"You got knocked The F#@k out!"

Too beautiful for words. Artwork, pure and simple.